What if the Celtics are too good?

Is it possible that the Celtics are just too good?

After Boston thoroughly washed the hyped-up, new-look Knicks under a barrage of thoroughly cleansing threes, it's fair to wonder where the regular-season drama will come from. Can someone Stop Boston's mean green machine?

“It was just a game,” I hear you say. “Relax!”

But that's not necessarily true. This is basically the same team as last year, one that led the league with 30 wins by more than 15 points, nine more than last year's second-place team (ironically, the Knicks), set the offensive rating record, and everyone Opponents rolled over in the playoffs. It was great when Boston had to implement its system last year and prove it could climb the mountain; Now it feels expected. Pedestrian. Inevitable.

And the inevitability, this lack of uncertainty, can lead to withdrawal or even boredom until the stakes are higher.

Some people feared that a championship hangover could lead to more sloppiness, but what if the opposite is true? What if the Celtics, freed from the burden of expectations, could play more loosely and freely than ever before? What if Joe Mazzulla and his staff spent another summer tinkering under the hood and finding a way to rev Boston's engine even higher? What if this team never lost again?

Okay, sure, the Celtics are going to lose again. Maybe in the next game (although I definitely wouldn't bet on the rebuilding and terrible Washington Wizards)! But if they win more than 65 games this year and 40 of them are demolition derbies in which the Celtics are the monster truck, the casual fan risks tuning out until the playoffs. Right now it's hard to imagine catching the highlights of opening night and the ring ceremony, but there comes a point where outliers aren't necessarily on TV anymore.

As a writer, my creativity is pushed to its limits. I need to break through the thesaurus to find new ways to say “magnificent,” “unstoppable,” and “juggernautical.”

To add some drama to this season, especially for the non-hardcore players, we need to set some new, smaller goals. Will Payton Pritchard be named Sixth Man of the Year? (Not if he continues to shoot 1:10 from the field!) When (not if, When) Will the Celtics make 30 three-pointers? Can Boston keep up with the Lakers with an NBA Cup microbanner (Yes, I really want Boston to compete in the NBA Cup)? Can they push for 74 wins?

It's hard to imagine a team with more than 70 wins in a league that is placing increasing emphasis on health and the long-term view. And it's less likely than ever, thanks to the high variance that high doses of three-pointers create on both bad and good teams. But it would definitely be fun to chase a regular season that already feels like playing on easy mode!

Of course I'm only half serious. Maybe three quarters. Boston will lose some games. Injuries can occur. And there are questions outside of New England worth paying attention to: What do the retooled Philly and Milwaukee teams look like? How much have the Thunder, Boston West, developed? Can anyone challenge Red Panda as halftime entertainment GOAT?

However, this regular season already feels like a preseason for the Celtics real Season. We may need some shorter term goals to liven things up.

(Please don't show this to non-Celtics fans; I don't think they would appreciate it.)