Tigers third baseman Zach McKinstry blamed the Cleveland Grounds crew for their Game 1 loss because they failed to water the field just before the game

Okay, I'm sure you all saw it, but the Guardians beat the Tigers 100-0 in Game 1 of the ALDS on Saturday. That's not even an exaggeration, as it was 5-0 in the bottom of the first inning before the Tigers even had their first out. Your starting pitcher may not even be in the box score because he literally hasn't recorded an out. And then the guy they brought in next gave up a 3-run bomb in his first pitch. And on the other hand, the Tigers were never a scoring threat. I truly believe that if we played in the 100th extra inning right now, Detroit would still be hoping for a hit from our bullpen. The fact is that it was the greatest route in playoff history. As I was scrolling Twitter this morning, looking forward to Game 2 later this afternoon, I burst into the biggest belly laugh I've had in decades when I read this tweet:

I had to double-check, double-check and triple-check to make sure it was a real postgame quote. You're telling me that the Tigers' 3rd baseman blamed the game on the field staff who watered the field before the pregame, but not until the end of the 1st inning? And that's why they lost? The infield wasn't watered down enough??? I guess they're just the Gritty Tigs until the infield isn't perfectly watered. Sweet asses! But honestly, this might be the most embarrassing quote I've ever read. Did she lose the game??? Zach, if Major League Baseball had a Mercy Rule like youth sports, you would have seen it used on Saturday. You scored zero runs in the game and your “mistake” cost you…one? If you will, you can argue that it led to a 5-run first, but guess what? You can score ALL FIVE runs in the first inning, Zach. I apologize for the unprofessional ground crew! Now let me do the math….take five runs away from Cleveland….carry the one…Wait, we still threw you to death.

For reference, here is the piece in question:

The scorers thought it was an error for about 36 hours until they finally called it an RBI double for Jose last night. But no matter how you look at it, the idea that the Tigers “lost the game because of this” is a loser’s mentality. I was looking forward to a long, hard-fought series between two blue-collar towns, but after hearing McMinstry blame an insufficiently watered-down infield for the entire first game? This could be over in two minutes!