Maine shooting anniversary: ​​Lewiston survivors look for a new beginning

LEWISTON, Maine (AP) — Ben Dyer was shot five times during Maine's deadliest mass shooting, as a gunman 18 people killed in a bowling alley and a bar.

A year later, Dyer and his fiancée Keela Smith want to make the worst day of their lives the best.

As Lewiston prepares to mark The gloomy first anniversary On Friday, Dyer and Smith are hopeful for the second. Dyer proposed to Smith that spring, emboldened by a new outlook on life and determined not to hold back. They chose Oct. 25 as their wedding date next year, the same day as the shooting. They want to reclaim the day.

“So that we always have it as a good memory. Something that we don’t fear every year and that doesn’t break our hearts every year,” Smith said. “Because it'll be like, 'Oh, this is our anniversary.' This is the day we have reclaimed and we have made it ours.'”

The couple, both 48, are among dozens of people still directly affected by the shooting try to find ways to process the physical and emotional trauma. For many, the anniversary brings back unwelcome memories.

The nightmares haven't gone away

“I have nightmares every day,” said Megan Vozzella, 39, whose husband, Steve Vozzella, was killed at Schemenges Bar & Grille. “I will always have nightmares. The closer we get, the worse I sleep.”

Megan says her husband managed to crawl outside before he died. The painful thought of him and the attempt to hold him gives her nightmares.

Vozzella, who is deaf, speaks with a sign language interpreter. Her husband was one of four deaf people killed while playing cornhole at the bar. Megan went to the same school as three of them and they all knew each other well.

Megan and Steve were two weeks away from their first wedding anniversary when Steve was killed. They met in 2009 and met on a camping trip, which they continued to enjoy doing together. They have a 13-year-old daughter, Bella. That night, Megan lost both her husband and a large part of her community.

“We thought we had a future, would raise the family and grow old together. And they’re all just gone,” she said. “The world is upside down.”

Lewiston plans ceremony to honor victims

Lewiston is planning an anniversary ceremony Friday to honor the victims, survivors, first responders and others affected by the tragedy. The evening includes music, speeches and two moments of silence.

The shooting began just before 7 p.m. at the Just-In-Time Recreation bowling alley. Armed with a semi-automatic rifle, equipped with a scope and laser, Army reservist Robert Card killed eight people in 45 seconds. He then drove 4 miles to the bar, where he killed another 10 people. He later killed himself.

“We were just a bunch of people hanging out and doing something we loved,” recalls Dyer, who was playing cornhole at the bar. “Eat snacks and food, have a few drinks and throw bags. And then all hell broke loose.”

Dyer lay on the ground after the shot, trying to stop the blood flowing from his right arm. When he looked up he saw Card staring at him. As the gunman took aim, Dyer raised his arms and pulled his head away to protect him from a fatal shot. He closed his eyes and tried not to breathe.

Dyer lost a finger and lost the use of his right arm. These days he buys clothes one size too big so he can put them on more easily with one hand. He's still trying to figure out how to cook and throw cornhole bags with his left hand. Every time he looks at his scars in the shower or buttons his shirt, he is reminded of it.

“I’m still alive for this day,” he said. “But I’m alive.”

The army and police missed the chance to confiscate weapons

A commission of inquiry found that neither the army nor police had been able to confiscate Card's weapons in the months before the shooting, despite knowing that his mental state was deteriorating and that he was making menacing threats. There are now around 100 survivors and relatives of the victims Take steps to sue the army.

Since the shooting, Maine has tightened its “yellow flag” law and made further changes to gun laws. But assault weapons were not banned, as some advocates wanted.

The U.S. Surgeon General declared gun violence one in June Public health crisis. Dr. Vivek Murthy said Americans want to go to school, the supermarket or their place of worship without fear of being killed. He called for a ban on assault weapons and large magazines for civilian use.

Dyer, who like many people in rural Maine enjoys hunting, said his experience hasn't changed his attitude toward guns.

“Your car can be a deadly weapon if you want it to be, if you drive it to a parade and mow people down,” he said. “So my attitude towards guns is no different. I still have them and I still buy them.”

As Dyer speaks on the patio of his Auburn home, the sound of gunfire can be heard in the woods beyond. Dyer said the volleys didn't bother him because they were far away. In fact, he said, he's looking forward to learning how to hunt again, this time using only his left arm.

Like Dyer, Vozzella doesn't see guns as a problem, but rather blames failures in the mental health system. She remains angry at the police and military for not confiscating Card's weapons before the massacre.

“They missed a lot of opportunities,” she said.

Vozzella's daughter is still afraid to go to school because she fears a shooter might show up. It was a tough year for both of them, Vozzella said, but they found some solace by going on camping trips and spending time with family and friends.

Vozzella shows off the arm tattoo she got shortly after the shooting – a heart with angel wings and the words: “In loving memory of Stephen M. Vozzella.”

“It’s never easier,” she said. “It won't be easy to move on for the rest of my life. But I’m slowly moving forward every day and finding my new normal.”

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Associated Press journalists Rodrique Ngowi, Robert F. Bukaty, Patrick Whittle, David Sharp and Holly Ramer contributed to this report.